Saffron Eastern Cuisine - 107 Cheetham Hill Road, Manchester M8 8PY

Article: Saffron Eastern Cuisine review
Day and time of visit: Friday, 6.30pm

Not a pinch of saffron flavoured dishes in sight? Potential theft? High blood pressure? This restaurant really disappointed me from its name right through and beyond my exit.

Friday nights are usually busy in restaurants, and I expect that. However, when asked if there is the possibility of sitting somewhere quiet, I also expect to be spoken to politely. I was responded with a harsh tone and told they were “busy”. So, Saffron won no points for welcoming me into their venue.

Once shown to the dining area, the place was not even half-full. If this was “busy”, then I’d love to see what quiet time was like here. I did get my quiet seating area though, nicely tucked away from all the children running inbetween the chairs and tables, unsupervised.

There were many families here and couples along with some Uncles who were engrossed in the grilled meals they had ordered. This place has two menus: a special grill and buffet. But with no menu in sight, I didn’t notice the grill option at all. In fact, the waiter failed to tell me there was a grill option, even though I specifically asked if it was just a buffet restaurant. Not impressed.

Stuck with the buffet option, I sat down. Table dressing was lacking, except for the four dusty glasses with cheap paper napkins placed inside them as “décor”. I wasn’t advised where the plates and cutlery were too. Although the waiters were generally very polite, it became frustrating having to shout “excuse me” a dozen times to request the whereabouts of my dinner set. One waiter realised I wasn’t given a plate, so immediately went to get one. Finally. After ordering a glass of mango lassi, I then joined the uncivilised stampede of faces that lined up (if you want to call it a line) for their food.

I absolutely hate buffets for this reason. I cannot stand the bad manners and narcissistic mindset that develops just to get a piece of chicken tikka. Not to mention the pushing-in “just because your family member is in the queue”. And using small children to emotionally blackmail your way to the front is simply sickening. It's worse than the pushchair-mums' who claim the entire pedestrian walk; armed with buggy, child and the determination to rule the world!

Ok, I’ve realised I’ve been a tad harsh up to now, so I will quickly jot down the few things I did like about the place. Firstly the restaurant had personalised plates and cutlery, which was nice because I’m not a fan of those who describe themselves as ‘passionate Restaurateurs’ then opt for the cheaper IKEA dinner sets. I also noticed that the salt and pepper on the table were stained with my worst nightmare – greasy splatters of curry. However, the general hygiene of the venue was decent – I didn’t see any rats and it looked like they mopped and hoovered regularly, which is always nice. The waiters were generally pleasant, although never attentive. Some of them hovered on their spots, probably waiting for closing time – which I can sympathise with.

See. I was nice. But honest.

I loaded a piece of all the starters available. Stir-fried mushrooms (soggy outer, undercooked inside), sish kebab (tasty), roast chicken (very dry and hard to swallow), Chinese chicken corn soup (tastiest starter), Morroccon wings (greasy, fatty, tasteless), fish tikka (lovely - crispy outer, succulent fish inside) and the slow roasted lamb (a definite divine bite). Therefore, a few starters qualified as decent in my books, so it was an OK start.

The main dishes (white rice, lamb nahari, lamb karahi, chicken korma) could be described in three words: flavourless and salty. If you are asking for high blood pressure, come to this place for an early death. These main dishes were in complete contradiction to the statement made by Saffron’s website - dishes that you, I and anyone else have “never tasted before”. In contrast, I have had better karahis, kormas and baltis - even when I cook for myself (yes, it was that bad!). However, I did appreciate one of the waiters serve me a plate of white rice as there was none in the buffet - odd as that may be.

The words “innovative” and “refreshing” were also used to describe the buffet. I would like to replace them with unimaginative and disappointing, which perfectly depict the desserts (shop bought banoffee and cheese cake, supposedly homemade custard and apple and gulab jamans). However, their homemade (?) Burfi were delicious. Addictive, even.

I certainly left this venue with my belly full having sampled pretty much every unsatisfying dish available. I paid my bill of £13.99 - which I gasped at (a rip off!). I was handed back £6.00 change (where was my penny change??). Then, when almost reaching my apartment, I realised the mango lassi cost £1.70, so I was short-changed by 31p. You do the maths. I know that sounds really petty - it is only 31 pence after all - but try telling that to the Manager who took it.

Not recommended.


My palate's choice for the evening:

Buffet £11.99

Mango Lassi £1.70

Tastecard: not used here

Ratings

Ambience = 6.5/10

Food = 2/10

Service = 5/10

Speed of food = Buffet

Restrooms = did not visit
Alcohol: not served

Price: 1/10

Room For Improvement

1. A nice warm greeting at the door would get you into the customer's good books, and set their evening to a good start. Also give them their options (grill, buffet) and let them decide.
2. Produce quality food that represents true South Asian cooking - Saffron Manager, make your mother proud!
3. Service with a smile - some waiters looked like they had all the fun sucked right out of them - motivate your staff, perhaps.
4. The personalised dinner sets were a nice touch - extend this to the quality of napkins. It's 2011, not the 80's.
5. Do not under any circumstances help yourself to your customer's change unless they give you the thumbs up - otherwise it could be classed as stealing.